relationships – Page 4 – Confluence Daily

June 5, 2018 Confluence

How to Know When to Call it Quits on Your Marriage

Reading Time: 2 minutes REGRETS ARE THE WORST, SO YOU WANT TO KNOW FOR SURE.
One of the questions I’m asked most often is, “How do I know if I should file for divorce?” There is no one right answer to that. However, if you’re asking the question chances are your marriage may already be terminal. There are generally four litmus tests that demonstrate the viability of a marriage. If you’re facing one of the most difficult decisions you might ever make, ask yourself these three questions.

Relate

May 24, 2018 Confluence

He Hasn’t Called – What Now?

Reading Time: 2 minutes When a man doesn’t call you back for a date a second, third, or fourth date, that means something. It either means something has come up and he doesn’t have time, or he’s not interested. Not having time is not an excuse, it’s a fact. If either one of those two things is going on, it’s not happening. Let that be ok because you can’t control it anyway.

Relate

May 23, 2018 Confluence

Top Ten Signs He Might Be Mr. Wrong

Reading Time: 2 minutes I hear it all the time, “how did I miss the signs?” at the end of a relationship hindsight is 20/20. It’s not because you were stupid. It’s because falling in love causes temporary insanity, literally. So how’s a girl to know?

Relate

May 18, 2018 Confluence

Our Relationship Is Fine, I’m Just Unhappy

Reading Time: 3 minutes In a recent interview, I was asked what the warning signs of a marriage on the brink were. I’m sure the interviewer was expecting to hear, abuse, infidelity, dishonesty, loss of intimacy, addiction, or any number of other big-ticket relationship deal breakers. When I answered the question by saying it was declining marital satisfaction, he was tongue-tied. He characterized that answer as elementary.

I think it’s anything but elementary. Not being happy in a relationship is the number one leading cause of all kinds of other bad things. In most cases, those other big-ticket deal breakers are symptoms of just not being happy enough. Typically a couple won’t seek help for “not being as happy as they used to be” and that’s too bad. At the “I’m just not happy” stage of trouble, there is still a lot of hope for getting a relationship back on track. At the “I’ve had an affair and want a divorce” stage of trouble, not so much.

Evolve

May 11, 2018 Confluence

Self-worthiness: 3 Telltale Signs Yours Isn’t As High As It Should Be

Reading Time: 3 minutes One of the first questions I ask most new clients is this: On a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, what would you rate your self-worth?

Inevitably, they will answer with a six or a seven. On a scale that runs to ten, seven is pretty high. Most of the time when I hear this reply I can take a pretty quick inventory and know it’s not true. Nothing has more impact on the results we’re getting in our lives than our own sense of worthiness. When something is coming up short, lack of worthiness is an easy and usually accurate reason why.

Evolve

May 10, 2018 Confluence

Why Not Taking Care of Myself is Lazy and Selfish

Reading Time: 4 minutes Circumstances and schedules aren’t an excuse. Not taking care of myself is lazy and selfish. The people around me deserve better than me showing up like a broken down bag lady.

What kind of day are you going to choose? What small choices do you need to make to have that day?

Relate

May 9, 2018 Confluence

What You Should Require In Exchange For Giving Your Heart To A Man

Reading Time: 4 minutes A relationship in balance between two healthy balanced partners works like this:

The man pours all of energy and attention into his mate. He adores her. He treasures her. He cares for her and attends to her needs. He protects her. He provides for her on many different levels, and I’m not just talking financially. More or less, without question, he worships her. His life becomes an active outpouring of his adoration – for her.

And what unfolds from that place of absolute adoration is a thing of beauty, because fueled by his love, that woman blossoms. She thrives. Most importantly she has the sustained energy it takes to create a beautiful and joyful shared life.

Relate

May 4, 2018 Confluence

There Will Be Plugged Toilets, Broken Down Cars, and Bad Days in Every Marriage

Reading Time: 5 minutes Life will make you feel like a victim. It will happen to you unless you get yourself in the driver’s seat and stay grounded in what really matters. A healthy marriage isn’t hard work – that’s a myth. A sick relationship will be the hardest work you’ll ever have to do.

So, a word to the wise might be, feed yourself and your marriage before starvation sets in.

Relate

May 3, 2018 Confluence

What To Say That Will Send 9 Out Of 10 Running, And Why You Should Say It

Reading Time: 3 minutes Although most women want to be a priority, the vast majority of women won’t say it because they don’t want to send him running. Again, maybe nine out of ten men freak and fly. That’s better than having nine relationship with a man who puts you somewhere between fifth and sixth on his priority list.

The one in ten guy who hears that message and respects it might just be a keeper.

Relate

April 26, 2018 Confluence

Love Doesn’t Take Sh*t and It Won’t Ask You to Either

Reading Time: 3 minutes There is a difference between taking the high road for principle and hiding behind doing the “loving” thing. The difference can be measured in resentment. If taking the high road leaves cleaner clearer energy behind then it might be the right course of action. However, if doing the loving thing leaves resentment in its wake – it’s not love. That is bypassing.