elle stanger – Page 2 – Confluence Daily

Reading Time: 3 minutes If you have any thoughts about pursuing criminal charges or investigation, you absolutely must, as awkward or painful as it might be, take screenshots of every piece of conversation between he and your daughter, and your message to him afterward. Save those in a folder and put them away, because there might be details that can vastly change the color of what was going on in this one specific case.

Relate

November 20, 2018 Confluence

How to Bring Up Masturbation in a Relationship?

Reading Time: 2 minutes Some people have a very difficult (impossible) time of talking about anything sexual; this is often shaped by how their family talks about bodies, sexual health or consent in the household. Families who tend to be deeply religious often talk about sex less, based on what I hear from my friends and clients. And people who feel negatively about sex are much less likely to use birth control successfully, discuss their pleasure with a partner, or masturbate, according to a study published in The Journal of Sex Research.

Relate

November 12, 2018 Confluence

Inquiring Minds Want to Know: Why Do Some People Like to Refer to their Sexual Partners as “Daddy”?

Reading Time: 4 minutes People use “daddy” as a term of endearment or arousal for various reasons that have to do with their attitudes around provider roles, masculinity and tenderness of men or masculine folks. People also use daddy as a way of experimenting in power roles and dynamics that are shaped by society and our histories. Additionally, it is important to acknowledge that some folks utilize the word as a means to rework their relationships after trauma. The choice to use “daddy” is a complex one for some, and a very popular one; I’ve never received so much feedback as when I solicited this answer to my readers.

Relate Weekly

October 15, 2018 Confluence

My Boyfriend Cheated On Me and I’m More Curious than Angry

Reading Time: 4 minutes If a long-term relationship and marriage is a goal of yours, I suggest you invest in the quality of raw, sometimes uncomfortable discussion about your desires: do you like flirting with your barista? Do you and he want to send sexy pics to other consenting people or couples? Does he and you have freedom to look at sexually charged material on your own time, without having to report back to the other? My boyfriend and I feel comfortable bringing up our monogamish leanings; it helps us keep realistic about our very real desires, even if we don’t wish to act on them.

“Forever” is a lot longer than most people realize, especially when the new-relationship excitement is so strong; it seems like it will never fade. It’s time to reframe how we talk about our desires – and remember that being married by thirty could mean fifty years of time with your companion of choice.

Uncategorized

October 1, 2018 Confluence

How to Prevent Sex-related Injuries

Reading Time: 2 minutes Think of sex like a contact sport; when an athlete increases their workout intensity they should also increase their amount of stretching, water intake, and protection against harm or injury. And after a tiring workout, a mindful athlete will also increase their level of after-care and rest in between bodily exertion. Sex is a type of contact sport, one that also requires us to be risk-aware.

Relate Weekly

September 24, 2018 Confluence

I think my husband has a porn addiction. He thinks I’m crazy.

Reading Time: 2 minutes Any time spent doing one activity that diverts focus and time away from loved ones can be to the detriment of the relationships with those loved ones. Be it a video game addiction or porn watching. The fact that you’re feeling left in the dust is the problem, and when you talk to him about those feelings of your own inadequacy I’d like you to frame it around that, and not the porn itself. It’s great that he’s not lying about watching porn in the first place, but I understand why you might miss him. (Unless what he’s watching is leading to harmful behaviors, but that doesn’t sound like the case.)

Relate Weekly

September 17, 2018 Confluence

My Partner Wants Me To Be More Vocal In Bed. As a Woman Who Usually Talks A Lot I’m Surprised this Makes me Uncomfortable.

Reading Time: 2 minutes It doesn’t sound silly at all – even experienced sex workers sometimes feel awkward when vocalizing sexy-speak that’s been requested from men. Partner sex shouldn’t always feel awkward, but new things or kinky requests can be stomach-turning if you aren’t sure how to address them. It’s up to you to determine if you’d like to dabble in dirty talk for your partner’s pleasure, because it’s healthy to make efforts for your partner, as long as it doesn’t cause you serious discomfort. I appreciate him asking for what he likes, now it’s your opportunity to be advantageous

Relate Weekly

September 4, 2018 Confluence

How Do We Talk to Our Teen Daughter About Sex Without Condoning Her Being Sexually Active?

Reading Time: 3 minutes Most kids aren’t ready for the responsibilities that come with having risk-aware partner contact, and many adults never become responsible at all: but it’s never to late or early to learn some good ideas around sexuality.

Relate Weekly

August 29, 2018 Confluence

I’d Like to Explore Erotica and Female Friendly Porn but I Don’t Know Where to Start

Reading Time: 2 minutes Most porn (and media in general) is produced by men and with straight men’s consumption in mind, so it’s not surprising that so much of the stuff you’ll see on Pornhub doesn’t strike you as sensual or with women’s pleasure as a focus.

Relate Weekly

August 20, 2018 Confluence

Our Pre-teen Daughter Stumbled Upon Our Porn

Reading Time: 2 minutes Tell your child that men and women have sex in the ways that they decide feels good to them, for some people that might mean with their penises, mouths, hands, feet, stomach rolls, armpits : there is no “proper” way to have sex. Secondly, as a kid who was (kind of) caught digging through their parents’ porn, I Do suggest buying her a kid-friendly book such as Sex Is a Funny Word and ask her if she knows what pornography is. Tell your child that porn is something that humans have made for thousands of years, and that one study suggests up to 85% of women in America report having watched it at some point in their lives.