Friday, October 25, 2024
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Confluence

The Bad Bitch’s Guide to Taking Up Space

Reading Time: 4 minutes One of the things I found myself doing when I first moved to New York was being incredibly deferential to people who walked with more confidence than me. I would stop to let people pass me on tight sidewalks. I would allow people to barrel past me through doorways –  sometimes holding the door for what became hoards of shoppers. I would even let people push me out of the way to get on the train first.

And – to be clear – when I say “people,” mean men.

So, this year I made a commitment to myself to take up more space. It is my incredibly passive-aggressive way of protesting Trump’s America. In my mind, I’m saying “you, white man, will go through this door after me, a black woman because I deserve as much space in this world as you do.”

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He Hasn’t Called – What Now?

Reading Time: 2 minutes When a man doesn’t call you back for a date a second, third, or fourth date, that means something. It either means something has come up and he doesn’t have time, or he’s not interested. Not having time is not an excuse, it’s a fact. If either one of those two things is going on, it’s not happening. Let that be ok because you can’t control it anyway.

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Evolve
Confluence

10 IDEAS THAT WILL HELP IF YOU’RE MAKING A DIFFICULT DECISION

Reading Time: 3 minutes “Take the lighted path, no matter how dimly lit.” ~Simran Singh

That proverbial fork in the road – sometimes even the simplest decision can feel like a struggle when we start taking all of the many factors into consideration. Even though it would be easy to shake a magic 8-ball, or just flip a coin, sometimes we’d like to feel a little more grounded when we’re making a difficult decision, especially if there is a lot at stake. Here are some tips, pointers, encouragement and support because you may be right smack in the midst of tough decision time and it’s important to find clarity and feel confident right now.

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Informed
Confluence

Meghan Markle’s Blackness: The Lot of Black People Hasn’t Changed Just Because a Woman With African Heritage Has Joined the British Royal Family

Reading Time: 4 minutes The lot of black people hasn’t suddenly changed just because a woman with African heritage has joined the British royal family, any more than the election of Barack Obama—whose family is decidedly regal—made everything all better. It was clear that a number of white guests didn’t quite know how to react to the inclusion of black culture. And yet, as much as I tried to stay indifferent, I got chills. I even choked up a bit. But why?

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The 5th Stryker Brigade Proves the Language of Dehumanization Isn’t a Just a Historical Issue

Reading Time: 6 minutes Words matter because they carry meaning and sometimes that meaning isn’t clear to everyone. We hear the words “dog whistle” politics more and more frequently for a reason. Figuratively, a ‘dog whistle’ is a coded message communicated through words or phrases commonly understood by a particular group of people, but not by others.

Some of us hear the word animal in the context Trump used it and we are alarmed. Others hear it as a rallying cry. There is no clearer dog whistle for racists than the language of dehumanization. When the President of the United States of America blows a dog whistle like that, people hear it and it has consequences.

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Momisms

Reading Time: 8 minutes On Mother’s Day, I put a post out on Facebook applauding mothers. It was an interesting post to me as it was a spur of the moment post. I mentioned how the Bible asks us to honor our mother and father, so our lives would be long. I was reflecting on why that is the only one of the ten commandments that has a “reward.” I waxed poetic about mothering and I also said sometimes, honoring our parents means keeping our distance if the relationship was abusive.
I was surprised at the attention this post got. I had several private messages in my inbox and several comments on the post that were quite negative. I was even asked to take down the post as it was the kind of thing that endorsed abusive behaviors from mothers to children and also promoted glorifying womanhood. Some of the comments also indicated that it was anti-feminist of me to glorify motherhood.
It turns out that this was a cultural issue! Yup! Culture! Not a blind spot but culture!

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