Sunday, October 27, 2024
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Confluence

Our Pre-teen Daughter Stumbled Upon Our Porn

Reading Time: 2 minutes Tell your child that men and women have sex in the ways that they decide feels good to them, for some people that might mean with their penises, mouths, hands, feet, stomach rolls, armpits : there is no “proper” way to have sex. Secondly, as a kid who was (kind of) caught digging through their parents’ porn, I Do suggest buying her a kid-friendly book such as Sex Is a Funny Word and ask her if she knows what pornography is.  Tell your child that porn is something that humans have made for thousands of years, and that one study suggests up to 85% of women in America report having watched it at some point in their lives.

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Informed
Confluence

A White Person’s Guide to the 5 Fables that Hold White Fragility Together At the Seams

Reading Time: 7 minutes I’ve been called a racist flat out and I didn’t like it at all. The problem with that word is racism is murky. If someone called me a serial killer, that would be pretty cut and dry. Nope. There are no bodies to be uncovered. I’m not a serial killer, plain and simple. However, if someone calls me a racist, I have to sit with that and sort through my shadow places to try make sure I’m not missing something someone else sees.

In order to work our way through this, as white people, we need to let go of the myths we cling to in an effort to distance ourselves from the discomfort of an uncomfortable conversation so that we can do that sorting – preferably before someone calls you a racist.

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Relate
Confluence

Can Our Relationship Survive an Affair?

Reading Time: 2 minutes You can’t be in control of your own power or make empowered choices when your perceived happiness is solely dependent on the survival of a marriage or another person. I don’t know what a good enough reason to save a marriage after an affair is. All of that is intensely personal. I do know that doing it for the kids will fail and doing it because your happiness depends on it will not lead to being happy.

If you are making a decision like this in your life get honest with yourself. If you believe that if you have to save this relationship or you will be alone forever because there’s no one else or because no one else will love you, stop dead in your tracks. I’m not saying you have to end it. I am saying you need to get straight with yourself first before you proceed. Being alone is far better than being miserable together. Self-love and self-respect have to come before reconciliation and healing.

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Evolve
Confluence

What Japanese Architecture Can Teach You About Life

Reading Time: < 1 minute In Asia, traditional buildings — even royal palaces or important Buddhist temples — don’t attract your attention the way that Il Duomo in Florence or the Notre Dame of Paris do, standing majestic and tall, poking the sky.

They blend into the background, aiming to harmonize with the surrounding mountain or sea, rather than overwhelm it.

What is more, they are built with the expectation that they will decay and return to dust. So you see a lot of wood, which twists and falls apart in time. The paint fades with rain and time.

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Evolve
Cindie Chavez

KARMA, BABY

Reading Time: 3 minutes If you’re going to embrace the concept of Karma and Karmic Law, then you’ll have to be willing to understand that it plays out over lifetimes, over decades and even millennium. And every karmic debt gets paid, including yours and mine. We might not know exactly what incurred the debt, but it seems unwise to respond with an energy that will create more of the same.

Instead, why not focus on creating good Karma, the kind that heals the world. The word Karma literally means “action” and it refers to action driven by intention. And as Debasish Mridha so eloquently put it, “A glint of intention initiates the process of creation.”

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Relate
Confluence

3 Totally Unorthodox Ways to Win at Life

Reading Time: 5 minutes Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with a manual, and yet we’re all playing by a set of rules we are programmed with. A lot of the time we aren’t even fully aware of the programming that shapes almost all of our choices, behaviors, and experiences.

We learn most of the rules we live by early in childhood. We accept those things as if they are true whether they are or aren’t. Most of the time we don’t question whether or not they’re even effective.

Because we can rarely see our programming, we spend all of our time playing the same game by the same rules. Doing the same thing over and over again will naturally produce the same result.

If you want different results in your life, you might want to change the game and the rules. The good news is you can. It’s your life. You get to do it however you’d like.

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