Relate – Page 5 – Confluence Daily

July 9, 2019 Confluence

6 Red Flag Signs Someone Might Be an Undateable

Reading Time: 4 minutes When you know what the endgame is and you’re keeping your eye on that ball, chances are pretty high the field will start weeding itself out.

However, there are still some pretty obvious, yet easily missed red flags you should look for. Any one of these might not be a big deal – addiction being the exception. That’s always a big deal. However, two or more of these should catch your attention and give you plenty of reasons to put the breaks on.

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July 1, 2019 Confluence

Parenting Podcast: The School of Opportunity

Reading Time: 2 minutes In the digital age, we are in a state of constant engagement with information. The news that is reported and repeated is often bad and scary. Many kids are not optimistic about their future. What can parents do to cultivate a type of hope that leads to action? How do we introduce our children to the voices and stories that aren’t being told in the news? Chuck Hagele, director of Project Patch, talks about a program he created with this very mission. It is called The School of Opportunity.

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June 14, 2019 Confluence

Open Letter to: Single men who are dating in the 21st century and who consider themselves “good guys”:

Reading Time: 4 minutes Single men who are dating in the 21st century and who consider themselves “good guys”:

You’re gonna have to take extra care of the women you’re interested in or are dating these days.

You’re gonna have to be “extra” for us. You’re gonna have to work harder than you think you should have to because your brothers are out here beating us down.

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June 11, 2019 Confluence

How to Leverage the Freedom of Being Disliked

Reading Time: 3 minutes Once you accept the fact that you aren’t liked, the stress of that struggle instantly subsides. You quit fighting that gut sick feeling that you might get it wrong. That feeling is exhausting. When you’ve settled into acceptance, that stress and struggle dissolve.

Then and only then are you able to stop editing yourself to make yourself more appealing or to meet someone else’s expectations. You can speak your mind without fear of consequence. You can show up as you one-hundred percent of the time. You can look yourself in the mirror and recognize your own face with crystalline clarity that can only be had when you’re standing alone.

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June 6, 2019 Cindie Chavez

We Need to Talk

Reading Time: 3 minutes The truth is we rarely know the whole story, and we won’t ever know it if we can’t shut-up and listen – without judging.

Breathe. Be curious. Assume positive intent. Give your conversational partner the benefit of the doubt. You don’t have to agree with what they’re saying. We all get to choose our own viewpoints, opinions, and beliefs.

Agreement is not required, but understanding is crucial. Make the intention to gain understanding instead of worrying about your response, giving advice, or attempting to “fix” anything. Sometimes the most powerful results come about because the person who is speaking suddenly feels seen and heard.

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June 5, 2019 Confluence

Stop asking me ‘what about men?’

Reading Time: 7 minutes When I write a tweet about women being murdered or raped, I didn’t forget men. I didn’t forget they could be murdered or raped. I didn’t accidentally miss them off my tweet. I simply CHOSE to talk about the experiences of females. It is not helpful, or clever, or promoting ‘equality’ to write to a researcher specialising in women’s studies and tell her in three paragraphs why she should focus on men.

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June 4, 2019 Confluence

PODCAST: A CONVERSATION WITH MEN ABOUT THE CHALLENGES OF MASCULINITY – PART 2

Reading Time: 2 minutes Today, I’m sitting down with a room full of diverse men to talk about the challenges of masculinity. The reason I wanted to facilitate this discussion is to bring to light some of the points and perspectives on what it means to be a man in modern day, told by men. Everyone, regardless of how they present or identify, should have a vested interest in loosening the tight grip of patriarchal masculinity because it not only hurts women and LGBTQ people, but it hurts men, too.

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May 30, 2019 Confluence

Podcast: Parents, you might not be doing things for the reasons you think

Reading Time: 2 minutes Can outside forces influence our behaviors without us even being aware? Is there something to the power of suggestion? Do first impressions really matter? In this episode, we explore the concept of psychological priming. Once we have an awareness that our brains are susceptible to outside influences that can shape our future behaviors, we can be more intentional with our mental diet.

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May 28, 2019 Confluence

You don’t have to wait to get your victim card punched to leave

Reading Time: 3 minutes He hasn’t cheated. He gets angry more often than seems reasonable but never gets violent. He goes to work, comes home, watches sports and mows the lawn on Saturdays. The fact that he’s indifferent to her presence, drinking a little or a lot too much in private, demanding or totally checked out in the bedroom, and developing a pretty consistent porn hobby/addiction seem minor compared to what getting divorced might mean.

She’s in limbo, waiting for her hall pass, an excuse good enough to justify leaving, but it’s not coming. This is her purgatory and she wants to fix it. She wants to fix him. She’d do anything to fix herself because she can’t remember the last time she was happy for more than a few hours.

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May 28, 2019 Confluence