Relate – Page 15 – Confluence Daily

July 5, 2018 Confluence

Enlightened Boundary Setting

Reading Time: 3 minutes Enlightened boundary setting is about figuring out what you want instead of what you don’t want. Decide very specifically what experiences you want to share with someone and set the bar there. You get to choose. How good to you want it to be? If things start drifting off script, unplug and try again later, or not. However, when you’re dialed down on what you do want with your clear intention set, you are already about one hundred times more likely to enjoy the ride.

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July 3, 2018 Confluence

Why You Have To Be The Person You Want To Attract

Reading Time: 2 minutes The question to ask yourself is this, “Am I the kind of person who my dream man or woman would fall in love with, for real?”

Trust me on this, no matter where you’re at, you can and might attract someone into your life. Everyone wants to be loved by someone. However, if you aren’t the person the future love of your life would fall for, right now, should you really be dating until you are?

Probably not.

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July 3, 2018 Confluence

So… What About Sex Clubs???

Reading Time: 2 minutes Determine what “wild night” means to you and him: Do you want to watch on your first visit and maybe play with other people engaging with others on a later visit? What is he interested in? Does he want to dance with other people, flirt with other people? I first went with a particular boyfriend and we discovered quickly that I was comfortable and he was not.

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June 28, 2018 Confluence

When Kids Want Ideas, Hand Them a Dust Cloth

Reading Time: 3 minutes So, if you’re ever thinking this summer that you really “should” do more to keep your kids busy, you might want to think again.

Encourage them to come up with their own ideas. If possible, you can provide the support when they ask for rides, money, supervision and supplies.

They may balk at first, thinking it’s easier for Mom to do things for them. In the short run, that may be true. But by putting the ball in their court, you’re conveying your faith in their ability to create their own good time. You’re letting them know that you believe they can do it. And they can.

You’re also taking the pressure off yourself which is a good thing in itself.

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June 27, 2018 Confluence

WHY ROYAL WEDDINGS MATTER PART 11: THE HONEY MONTH: DEDICATED TO HARRY AND MEGHAN

Reading Time: 3 minutes There’s a bit of intrigue associating the honey in “honeymoon” and the ancient legend of the honeybee’s luscious nectar with love and sex. In her book, The Hive: The Story of the Honeybee and Us, Bee Wilson muses how human civilization would have barely survived without the honeybee: its wax was used to create light in a dark world and its honey gave nourishment and medicine.

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June 26, 2018 Confluence

5 Rules for a Great First Date

Reading Time: 4 minutes First of all, I’d like to say, good for you, for getting out there. Dating is a courageous act. To keep doing it when you feel like you’re not doing well is downright brave! Secondly, I’d prefer not to focus on what’s going wrong, because it’s anyone’s guess. Without a hidden camera and a microphone at this point, we might never know. Not to mention, you might be doing everything right, but now that you’ve come to expect a less than perfect result, that’s what you’re getting.

Secondly, I’d prefer not to focus on what’s going wrong, because it’s anyone’s guess. Without a hidden camera and a microphone at this point, we might never know. Not to mention, you might be doing everything right, but now that you’ve come to expect a less than perfect result, that’s what you’re getting.

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June 22, 2018 Confluence

The F*ckboy Filtration System – Patented and Tested Method for Weeding Out the Man-children

Reading Time: 3 minutes When I got a bit older, I tested and patented a new system I like to call Fuckboy FiltrationTM. It’s where you ask for what you want when you want it. For example: If I didn’t feel secure, I would let the person I was dating know, and tell him what I needed to feel better. If I wanted a relationship to move forward I would outline my expectations: where I wanted things to go, when I wanted that, and what would happen if those expectations weren’t met. I even sometimes went out of my way to be terrifying, like “Hello, hi, are we dating, is it serious, it puts the lotion on its skin.”

The result? Singlehood. Glorious, powerful, elective singlehood. Also, some (lots of) crying.

The men that were spooked by these conversations faded away. Almost every time I did this I was ghosted within a month. And…I loved it. Obviously, it was frustrating at times, but I knew that I was successfully filtering out people who didn’t want what I wanted, or who just didn’t want to be with me.

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June 20, 2018 Confluence

WHY ROYAL WEDDINGS MATTER PART 10: TOKENS OF ABUNDANCE & LOVE: MEGHAN REMEMBERS PRINCESS DIANA

Reading Time: 4 minutes After changing into a sleek and sexy white halter-neck dress, Meghan wore designer high heels with soles painted pale blue and a fabulous ring with a large aquamarine stone once belonging to her late mother-in-law. (Was the ring a surprise from Prince Harry? Was he in on the “something blue” conversation? Or do you think he simply opened his mother’s jewelry box one day for his beloved to select something of her fancy?)

The “something old, something new” rhyme seems to be infused with a kind of fairy-tale quality and delights of feminine mystique—is the mystery part of its appeal? I call the old-fashioned rhyme the most feminine of all wedding rituals. Whether a bride borrows her grandmother’s handkerchief; wears a gift of birthstone earrings or an antique lace veil; pins a blue silk ribbon to her corset or slips a sixpence coin into her shoe or his pocket, they have put something magically mysterious into motion. And what woman doesn’t become more attractive wearing a bit of mystery?

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June 19, 2018 Confluence

Manipulation Is Not What You Think It Is

Reading Time: 3 minutes When you grasp the concept of manipulation for what it is, a human reflex instead of an act of force you can relax around it rather than fight against it. You don’t have to put up walls. You can put on music and dance. No villains. No victims. Just souls playing together trying to be happy.

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June 19, 2018 Confluence

Getting Bullies to Change

Reading Time: 3 minutes As I tell kids, having a civil conversation with someone who’s trying to dominate you is a smart idea. Keep in mind you’ll have to be the one who initiates the conversation and you’ll also have to be the one who keeps it civil. So, before you actually have the conversation, practice it in your mind a few times until you’re comfortable with it and feel really good about having it.

Taking this step will do wonders for anyone who’s confidence has been shaken by a power-hungry aggressor because initiating the talk and taking the lead in the conversation is breaking the old pattern and starting a new one… where the aggressor is not in charge.