Relate – Page 13 – Confluence Daily

August 24, 2018 Confluence

How to Find the Right Preschool

Reading Time: 2 minutes Finding the right preschool or care provider for your child doesn’t have to be a daunting process. Because your child’s early years are crucial in his or her development, choosing the right child care facility is one of the most important decisions you can make to prepare him or her for both school and adult life.

While most parents start the process by asking friends and family for recommendations, keep these tips from the child care experts at KinderCare in mind when searching for a child care center:

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August 23, 2018 Confluence

Five Ways to Fix Your Heartbreak

Reading Time: 4 minutes We have all experienced heartbreak. Most of the time, most of us get over it. However, when the pain doesn’t subside after a few weeks, maybe not disappear completely, but subside, it might be time to get help. When Ann Marie called we discussed an immediate game plan. Below are the top five extreme ways to stop heartbreak.

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August 21, 2018 Confluence

20 low to no cost, easy to implement, no excuses, ways to up-level your self-love game right now

Reading Time: 3 minutes I was talking to a woman this morning about self-love who was legitimately confused about what that actually meant. So, I gave her my standard pep-talk about how love is a verb. When you’re not feeling it sometimes you have to DO it. Treating yourself like someone you love IS self-love.

It was a great talk. I was impressed by it. However, she still gave me a completely blank stare when I was finished.

When you’re paddling against the current just to keep your head above water, self-love or even self-care can feel like training for a marathon you’ll never run.

Relate Weekly

August 20, 2018 Confluence

Our Pre-teen Daughter Stumbled Upon Our Porn

Reading Time: 2 minutes Tell your child that men and women have sex in the ways that they decide feels good to them, for some people that might mean with their penises, mouths, hands, feet, stomach rolls, armpits : there is no “proper” way to have sex. Secondly, as a kid who was (kind of) caught digging through their parents’ porn, I Do suggest buying her a kid-friendly book such as Sex Is a Funny Word and ask her if she knows what pornography is. Tell your child that porn is something that humans have made for thousands of years, and that one study suggests up to 85% of women in America report having watched it at some point in their lives.

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August 17, 2018 Confluence

Can Our Relationship Survive an Affair?

Reading Time: 2 minutes You can’t be in control of your own power or make empowered choices when your perceived happiness is solely dependent on the survival of a marriage or another person. I don’t know what a good enough reason to save a marriage after an affair is. All of that is intensely personal. I do know that doing it for the kids will fail and doing it because your happiness depends on it will not lead to being happy.

If you are making a decision like this in your life get honest with yourself. If you believe that if you have to save this relationship or you will be alone forever because there’s no one else or because no one else will love you, stop dead in your tracks. I’m not saying you have to end it. I am saying you need to get straight with yourself first before you proceed. Being alone is far better than being miserable together. Self-love and self-respect have to come before reconciliation and healing.

Relate

August 15, 2018 Confluence

3 Totally Unorthodox Ways to Win at Life

Reading Time: 5 minutes Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with a manual, and yet we’re all playing by a set of rules we are programmed with. A lot of the time we aren’t even fully aware of the programming that shapes almost all of our choices, behaviors, and experiences.

We learn most of the rules we live by early in childhood. We accept those things as if they are true whether they are or aren’t. Most of the time we don’t question whether or not they’re even effective.

Because we can rarely see our programming, we spend all of our time playing the same game by the same rules. Doing the same thing over and over again will naturally produce the same result.

If you want different results in your life, you might want to change the game and the rules. The good news is you can. It’s your life. You get to do it however you’d like.

Relate Weekly

August 14, 2018 Confluence

Am I Doing Orgasms Wrong?

Reading Time: 2 minutes Plenty of articles will tell you that women (and all people) experience orgasm differently; some people cry after or feel conflicted during – sensations of sexual pleasure can bring up feelings around shame or trauma relating to sexuality. Ask yourself if you have any negative experiences in your personal sexual history that might be making you feel odd about experiencing orgasm or genital pleasure.

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August 14, 2018 Confluence

Everything You Need to Know About that Asshole You Should Avoid

Reading Time: 5 minutes I recently talked to a woman who’d been emotionally and psychologically abused by her fiance for almost two years. It was bad. Everyone could see it but her. She told me that after her best friend’s roommate pointed out to her that he was a classic malignant narcissist she knew she needed to end it. She looked it up online. She read all the “symptoms” and sure enough, it fit him to a tee. So, she was finally done. He’s crazy.

The roommate is a barista. While the observant barista might have been right, those kinds of diagnosis are very complicated and it’s not easy to get right. Even more so, it’s sad that so often we need an excuse to leave a relationship that’s not working.

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August 13, 2018 Confluence

Are You Staying for the Kids?

Reading Time: 2 minutes If you’re wondering how healthy your relationship is, ask yourself if you have the kind of life you want for your children when they’re grown? Would it be ok to get hit occasionally? Would a little bit of infidelity be alright for your little one? Is “not that bad” good enough for your children in their future marriage?

I doubt it. But if you’re living it, you are making it much more likely that’s exactly what will happen.

Children have x-ray vision. They see what’s going on behind closed doors. If you’re staying in a relationship for the kids, make it one worth modeling, or get out. Period.

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August 8, 2018 Confluence

THE NEW ROYAL MARRIAGE: William & Kate, Harry & Meghan

Reading Time: 5 minutes It was Princess Diana’s tenacity and spirit that carved out a way for William to be king and have a marriage based on love and equality; and, in her demonstrative acts of unconditional love, gave Harry, younger at her death and maybe more vulnerable, the resilience to mend his broken heart and find a strong partner who matches his devotion and compassion. And Prince Charles played his part as he tenderly protected and guided his sons after Diana’s death; then, years later, boldly challenged the old monarchic code and, with William and Harry’s full-hearted support, married the woman he had long loved.