Relate – Page 12 – Confluence Daily

Reading Time: 2 minutes Any time spent doing one activity that diverts focus and time away from loved ones can be to the detriment of the relationships with those loved ones. Be it a video game addiction or porn watching. The fact that you’re feeling left in the dust is the problem, and when you talk to him about those feelings of your own inadequacy I’d like you to frame it around that, and not the porn itself. It’s great that he’s not lying about watching porn in the first place, but I understand why you might miss him. (Unless what he’s watching is leading to harmful behaviors, but that doesn’t sound like the case.)

Relate

September 20, 2018 Confluence

4 Things to Let Yourself Off the Hook for So You Can Thrive Now

Reading Time: 4 minutes I know you feel guilty about not making cookies for the neighborhood association bake sale. I know you wish you’d gone to the doctor with your sister when she asked you for a ride. I know you felt guilty about saying no to your boss when she asked you for overtime. I feel you. I really do.

You’ve gotten better about saying “no” as a one-word sentence. However, chances are high, you still nail yourself to the cross of obligation for doing it. Learning to say no is not freedom if you don’t give yourself permission to enjoy the freedom you buy with your boundaries.

Relate Weekly

September 17, 2018 Confluence

My Partner Wants Me To Be More Vocal In Bed. As a Woman Who Usually Talks A Lot I’m Surprised this Makes me Uncomfortable.

Reading Time: 2 minutes It doesn’t sound silly at all – even experienced sex workers sometimes feel awkward when vocalizing sexy-speak that’s been requested from men. Partner sex shouldn’t always feel awkward, but new things or kinky requests can be stomach-turning if you aren’t sure how to address them. It’s up to you to determine if you’d like to dabble in dirty talk for your partner’s pleasure, because it’s healthy to make efforts for your partner, as long as it doesn’t cause you serious discomfort. I appreciate him asking for what he likes, now it’s your opportunity to be advantageous

Relate

September 11, 2018 Confluence

Forgive or Get Out

Reading Time: 3 minutes Some things are unforgivable when you’re in it. Sometimes you have to get some time and space between yourself and the pain to get there. I lived in a marriage where my husband cheated. If it had been once, I might have gotten past that. However, it wasn’t one. For a very long time, I had neither courage to forgive or get out. I tried to forgive it. I tried everything. But it wasn’t until years after our divorce that I honestly did. While we were still together I hated him and myself. By the time it was over I had a lot of forgiving myself to do also.

Relate

September 5, 2018 Confluence

4 Do It Today Ways to Upgrade Your Deliberate Creation Practice

Reading Time: 3 minutes Trying to be some version of someone else will water down your magic. Trying to emulate someone else’s success will keep your own dreams at arm’s length. You are made of mystery under your own constellation of stardust. Every single thing about you is unique. Morphing yourself into a lesser version of you to fit in someone else’s box is disconnects you from miracles that should be your second nature.

Worship the things that make you different. Feed your wildest dreams. Create some righteous chaos. Do it on your terms.

Relate Weekly

September 4, 2018 Confluence

How Do We Talk to Our Teen Daughter About Sex Without Condoning Her Being Sexually Active?

Reading Time: 3 minutes Most kids aren’t ready for the responsibilities that come with having risk-aware partner contact, and many adults never become responsible at all: but it’s never to late or early to learn some good ideas around sexuality.

Relate Weekly

August 29, 2018 Confluence

I’d Like to Explore Erotica and Female Friendly Porn but I Don’t Know Where to Start

Reading Time: 2 minutes Most porn (and media in general) is produced by men and with straight men’s consumption in mind, so it’s not surprising that so much of the stuff you’ll see on Pornhub doesn’t strike you as sensual or with women’s pleasure as a focus.

Relate

August 29, 2018 Confluence

5 Habits of Unhappy Couples and How to Avoid Them

Reading Time: 4 minutes Show me a couple where thank yous don’t flow liberally between them and I’ll show you a couple that has a lot of resentments lurking just under the surface.

Politeness and appreciation are the two things that make the day to day business of sharing a bathroom sink and a closet with someone doable.

Appreciation tends to flow very easily at the beginning of a relationship. However, as the newness starts to wear off, appreciation can drift to other things. The problem is, you get what you focus on. When you quit focusing on appreciation you find fewer and fewer things to appreciate.

Relate

August 28, 2018 Confluence

How to Stay Married

Reading Time: 3 minutes If you are committed to staying married, and you are less happy than you want to be, that’s not normal and it’s not ok. The good news is it’s probably mendable because you can learn the skills it takes to be in a relationship. Sooner is better than later, because sometimes later is too late. Waiting too long might not mean divorce. There is a fate far, far worse than divorce. Waiting too long may mean spending the rest of your life in a soulless, loveless, lifeless marriage, and that is a recipe for slow, early death.

Relate

August 27, 2018 Confluence

What Management Gurus Know About Relationships

Reading Time: 3 minutes We know this stuff. I’m stating the obvious. Focus on what you want more of and you’ll get it. Focus on what you don’t want and you’ll get that too. The key in relationships is to be willing. Are you willing to let go of resentment and irritation to get more of what you want? The easy answer is yes, but in practice, it’s a little more difficult for many people. You think you’ve earned your resentments. You deserve them. People wear resentments like bad relationship merit badges, they collect them.