Relate – Page 10 – Confluence Daily

December 10, 2018 Confluence

Ten Things Healthy Men Look for in a Woman

Reading Time: 8 minutes Women often mistakenly take their cues from advertising and media when they are trying to figure out what a man wants in a woman. And making that mistake can lend itself to some painful and costly outcomes. What I’ve learned from working with men over the years is there are more good guys out there than most women tend to believe. The assholes and takers get a lot of airtime and take up a lot of our attention. However, at the end of the day, most men are fundamentally good at heart and want to do what’s right by the women they love.

Here are ten things I’ve learned about men, love, and romance after more than a decade of talking to men about women:

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December 5, 2018 Confluence

When A Bully Says “I Was Only Kidding”

Reading Time: 2 minutes People who bully aren’t bad people. They just learned a way of getting things they want… like power, friends, money, laughs… by doing things that hurt other people. They don’t necessarily intend to hurt others, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

It’s not our job to teach bullies how their actions affect other people. But for our own good, we ARE responsible for understanding their behavior as a demonstration of THEIR weaknesses, not ours.

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November 30, 2018 Confluence

HOW TO TELL IF YOU NEED AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER

Reading Time: 4 minutes Have you ever looked back at recent journal entries only to realize that all of the optimistic goals you wrote down never made it off the page?

Maybe you said you were going to lose 20 pounds and actually ended up gaining five.

Or perhaps you were going to write the Great American Novel, but instead only wrote two blog post drafts, neither of which you ended up posting.

You’re not alone. A lot of well-meaning individuals find themselves in similar circumstances.

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November 29, 2018 Confluence

Relationship Insurance

Reading Time: 4 minutes I’m not saying appreciation alone will save a marriage that’s in critical condition. It might, it might not. However, appreciation and gratitude will prevent a relationship from ending up on life support almost every time.

Appreciation is relationship insurance.

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November 20, 2018 Confluence

How to Bring Up Masturbation in a Relationship?

Reading Time: 2 minutes Some people have a very difficult (impossible) time of talking about anything sexual; this is often shaped by how their family talks about bodies, sexual health or consent in the household. Families who tend to be deeply religious often talk about sex less, based on what I hear from my friends and clients. And people who feel negatively about sex are much less likely to use birth control successfully, discuss their pleasure with a partner, or masturbate, according to a study published in The Journal of Sex Research.

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November 12, 2018 Confluence

Inquiring Minds Want to Know: Why Do Some People Like to Refer to their Sexual Partners as “Daddy”?

Reading Time: 4 minutes People use “daddy” as a term of endearment or arousal for various reasons that have to do with their attitudes around provider roles, masculinity and tenderness of men or masculine folks. People also use daddy as a way of experimenting in power roles and dynamics that are shaped by society and our histories. Additionally, it is important to acknowledge that some folks utilize the word as a means to rework their relationships after trauma. The choice to use “daddy” is a complex one for some, and a very popular one; I’ve never received so much feedback as when I solicited this answer to my readers.

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November 7, 2018 Confluence

Seven Day Checklist to Reclaiming Your Sanity

Reading Time: 5 minutes Poetry is powerful medicine. I know some people who might say poetry isn’t their jam. However, I’d say it’s because they haven’t found the right poet.

Some of the greatest thinkers of our time and in history of express(ed) themselves in poetry. Poets have a way of seeing life, love, struggle, and triumph as art. The right poet can shift the way you see things through prose without effort.

The very act of memorizing something requires attention and intention. It requires a special kind of focus that changes your brain. When you memorize something it’s an act of choice and that changes you and your perspective in ways that aren’t obvious but are very powerful. That thing becomes a part of you in a very magical way.

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November 6, 2018 Confluence

Charlotte School Shooting: Another Example of Kids Screaming for Emotional Tools

Reading Time: 3 minutes We can talk all we want about the different forms of bullying. We can gather statistics on how many kids are being bullied. We can teach kids why and how they can report bullying. We can teach kids all about kindness, respect and inclusion. And none of it will work. We know this because we’ve been doing all of these and still, kids are being bullied and anxiety is on the rise.

Kids desperately need to learn how to regulate their emotions. They need to understand what they’re feeling. They need to recognize why they’re feeling it. Most importantly, they need a healthy strategy for managing how they feel, which is essentially the energy they bring to our world.

Relate

October 31, 2018 Confluence

Strange Bedfellows Podcast: It’s A Man’s World

Reading Time: < 1 minute The history of rape culture in psychiatry, bad club owners, and anti-arousal medication

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October 29, 2018 Confluence

Podcast: Trying to Fix the Bully Is Not the Way to Help Our Children Being Bullied

Reading Time: 2 minutes Often the approach to dealing with bullying is to try to stop the bully. However, that approach often leaves children less empowered and still at risk of being bullied again and again.

What if we took our focus off the bully and instead taught our children to be bully-proof? By empowering our children to be confident we can teach them skills that last a lifetime. Bully-proofing our children can be done. The skills are teachable.