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Author: Confluence

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It’s Not You It’s Me – The Civilized Guide To Breakups

Reading Time: 3 minutes “In the time we’ve spent together I’ve really come to appreciate what a great person you are. This is the very reason I feel you deserve more than I am really able to put into this. I just don’t feel my head or heart is in this relationship the way it should be. Because of that I know as hard as this is, it’s time for me to end this. At some point maybe we can reconnect as friends, but for now, I think we really need some time completely apart to adjust to this. It’s going to be hard for both of us.”

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Why I Don’t Say “Forever” to My Future Husband

Reading Time: 3 minutes Whenever I have the chance to take a quiet moment with my partner and just appreciate him – the curve of his shoulder, the color of his eyes, the utter satisfaction of his belly laugh – I take it. I take it knowing that it could never come again, and my only choice is to drink it in right fucking now. In that little moment, there’s no pressure to make us last, no worries about money or jobs or apartments, no forever. There is just him and me and this. And then he does something annoying and it’s gone, and boy am I glad I stood in the glorious present when I had the chance.

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I Want a Real Polyamorous Relationship With Some Roots and Depth & I Don’t Know Where to Start

Reading Time: 3 minutes There are many different models for polyamory, or “loving many” people. I’ve participated in a couple separate models of polyamory, or as I actually prefer to call it, non-monogamy. I don’t need to “love” or be in close relationship with the people that I socialize with sexually as a non-monogamous person.“Polyamory” makes me think that you do indeed what to build a life with more than one partner, and people do this quite successfully, but it’s not for everyone.

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Grown Woman’s Guide to Assholes

Reading Time: 4 minutes Nothing will rock the world of a nice girl faster than an asshole. A nice girl just can’t wrap her mind around the behavior of an asshole. The things that make a nice girl so vulnerable to an asshole are two of the things that make a nice girl nice – she’s understanding and patient.

But let’s tell the truth about the nice girl. When being nice is an honor badge for being a pushover you can’t blame the asshole. There is a big difference between a nice girl and a grown-up woman who loves hard.

And let me tell you from experience, there is no point trying to love or even like an asshole. So, here is your guide for managing yourself with an asshole – and for the record, this is not a guide to managing an asshole, because you can’t.

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An Open Letter to the Wife of My Lover

Reading Time: 3 minutes Yes, I have an advantage. He never sees me without my makeup because we have to make plans days in advance to see each other. I don’t have to ask him to take the garbage out because we don’t share a household. I do all of that myself. We don’t fight about money, because we don’t share any. The time I share with him is uncomplicated and unfettered by the daily complications of life because we don’t really share one. Occasionally, we share a bed, but sharing a bed is not the same.

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