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Seven Days to a Softer Relationship with Dopamine

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Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know.

By:  Lisa M. Hayes

2025 Is Chaotic

Just like its predecessor, it is showing up loud.

The hustle keeps whispering (or screaming) in our ears.

The latest buzzword flooding my social media feed is soft life. I love the idea of soft—but I am super-fucking-clear that a soft life can’t happen at a rapid-fire pace. Soft has to be slow. While soft seems pretty easy to me, slow does not. Slowing down is hard because everything feels way more important than it is.

A slow and soft life isn’t about laziness or giving up. It’s about living in rhythm with nature, living in rhythm with yourself. It’s about creating a life that belongs to you—not the system.

At your core, you are nothing but a wild animal with a laptop. Almost all of us are living too far outside the organic cycles of our nature.

Dopamine Is Running the Show

And here’s where we need to talk about dopamine. Dopamine, when managed right, will keep you in an organic rhythm that supports your wellness and connection to your life. Dopamine done wrong will drive you mad—literally.

Dopamine is the chemical that makes you chase. It drives desire, motivation, and that rush of excitement you feel when something shiny grabs your attention. It’s why you can scroll TikTok for hours, binge an entire season on Netflix, or obsessively check your phone for notifications. Dopamine is why you feel like you always need more.

But here’s the problem: in today’s overstimulated world, we’re all trapped in a cycle of cheap dopamine hits. Social media, constant notifications, endless content—it’s hijacked our brains. We’re addicted to the quick, shallow thrill, and we’ve lost our connection to the deeper, organic rhythms that actually make life meaningful.

To create a slow and soft life, you need to break up with that cycle. This isn’t about cutting dopamine out of your life entirely—it’s about taking back control. Dopamine rehab is the key to slowing down, syncing with nature, and finally building a life that feels good, not just busy.

Before You Start: A Reality Check

You might look at this list and feel like it’s impossible. You might tell yourself, “I’ll try these things someday,” or, “This doesn’t apply to me right now.” Those thoughts? They’re not just excuses—they’re symptoms.

Resistance to slowing down is one of the clearest signs of dopamine addiction. If you find yourself brushing off these steps or believing you can’t make space for them, it’s a signal that your system is hooked on the rush. The very behaviors that make you feel stuck are driven by the addiction itself.

Breaking free doesn’t require perfection. It requires small, intentional choices made consistently. Start where you are. Even one shift in your routine can begin to unravel the cycle.

Seven Days to a Softer Relationship with Dopamine

Day 1: Get Honest About Your Dopamine Traps

Start by paying attention to the habits that pull you into a cycle of chasing shallow rewards. Social media, binge-watching, endless notifications—these are all traps designed to keep your brain hooked. Notice how often you reach for your phone without thinking or find yourself mindlessly scrolling. These habits might seem harmless in the moment, but they’re draining your energy and attention.

Spend today observing without judgment. The goal isn’t to beat yourself up—it’s to identify the patterns that keep you stuck. Awareness is the foundation for change. Once you know where your energy is leaking, you can start to redirect it.

🧠 Pro Tip: Keep a small notebook or use a notes app on your phone to track these moments. Jotting down what you’re doing and how you’re feeling can help you spot patterns you didn’t even realize were there.

Day 2: Replace Shallow Hits with Real Rewards

Dopamine isn’t bad—it’s essential for motivation and joy. The problem is that shallow dopamine hits, like likes and notifications, only provide a quick thrill before leaving you feeling empty. Today, swap those fleeting rewards for something deeper.

Cook a meal and savor the process. Write, draw, or create something that feels meaningful to you. Move your body, even if it’s just a stretch or a walk around the block. Real rewards take more effort, but they also offer more satisfaction and connection to your life.

🧘 Pro Tip: Choose one simple activity today—something creative or physical—and commit to doing it fully. Notice how it feels compared to the instant gratification of a notification.

Day 3: Cancel One Thing

Your schedule is probably too full. We’ve all been conditioned to equate busyness with value, but constantly running on empty isn’t sustainable. Look at your calendar today and find one thing you can cancel. Maybe it’s a meeting, an errand, or even just an unnecessary task.

The space you create can be small, but it’s powerful. Use that time to rest, daydream, or do something that brings you joy. Canceling something unimportant is an act of rebellion against the grind culture that demands we do it all.

🕊️ Pro Tip: Make this a weekly ritual. Every week, cancel one thing that doesn’t truly serve you and reclaim that time for yourself.

Day 4: Practice Single-Tasking

We live in a world that glorifies multitasking, but the truth is, it scatters your focus and drains your energy. Today, commit to single-tasking. When you’re eating, just eat. When you’re working, focus on one task at a time. When you’re with a loved one, put your phone away and be fully present.

Single-tasking slows you down and makes everything feel more intentional. It’s about showing up fully for the moment you’re in instead of splitting your attention in a thousand directions.

🎯 Pro Tip: Try the Pomodoro Technique: Set a timer for 25 minutes and focus entirely on one task. Take a five-minute break, then repeat. This method builds focus and gives your brain a rhythm to follow.

Day 5: Spend Time Outside

Nature moves at a pace that is entirely its own, and reconnecting with it can ground you in ways nothing else can. Spend time outside today—even if it’s just a few minutes. Feel the air on your skin, listen to the sounds around you, and let yourself be fully present in the natural world.

Whether you’re walking in a park, sitting under a tree, or just standing in your backyard, allow nature to reset your nervous system. It’s a reminder that life doesn’t have to be rushed to thrive.

🌳 Pro Tip: Make it intentional. Leave your phone behind or on silent, and give yourself the gift of uninterrupted time in nature.

Day 6: Set a Screen-Time Limit

Screens are everywhere, and they’re designed to keep you hooked. Today, set a clear boundary around your screen use. No phones during meals, an hour of tech-free time before bed, or even a fully unplugged evening—whatever feels achievable for you.

Limiting screen time doesn’t just reduce distractions; it gives your brain the space it needs to rest and reset. You might be surprised at how much more present and focused you feel with even a little distance from your devices.

📱 Pro Tip: Use your phone’s built-in screen-time tools to set limits and track your usage. Start small and adjust as you go.

Day 7: Choose Joy Over Productivity

In a world that equates worth with productivity, choosing joy can feel radical. But joy isn’t just nice to have—it’s essential. Today, ask yourself: What would feel good right now? Then do it.

This isn’t about what’s useful or efficient. It’s about what lights you up. Whether it’s dancing, reading, or simply lying in the sun, joy reconnects you to yourself and reminds you why life is worth slowing down for.

🌟 Pro Tip: Start a “joy list.” Write down things that make you happy, and keep it handy for days when you need a little spark.

A Softer, More Intentional Life

This seven-day journey is just the beginning. Softening your relationship with dopamine is about small, consistent choices that reconnect you with what truly matters.

Let this be the year you reclaim your energy and choose joy, even in the midst of chaos. A softer, slower, more intentional life is waiting.

 


I want to chat about the ways dopamine is running the show in your life. I want to unpack the habits that keep you chasing and explore the rhythms that could bring you back to yourself. I want to talk about who you were before overstimulation and burnout took hold—and how to reconnect with the version of you who knew how to slow down and savor life.

I’m not here to fix you because I don’t think you’re broken—I’m here to help you fall in love with yourself and your life again. No hustle glorification, no shame, just real, transformative coaching from someone with three decades of experience.

Ready to reclaim your energy, joy, and peace? Let’s create some space for the slow and soft life you deserve. DM me.

 

You can also find me at www.thecoachingguild.com if you’re interested in coach training.

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