The Rise of Feminine and the Rise of Rage Might be the Same Thing
Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know.
By: Lisa Hayes
After Trump’s first election, my then-business partner and friend messaged me to say I seemed angry and that my anger wasn’t good for her brand. We talked about ending our partnership right then, and honestly, we should have. I wasn’t about to put a smiley-face sticker over my rage just so someone else could avoid being associated with my less than sparkly mood. A few months later, our partnership crashed aburptely, literally over night. It was public and messy. Looking back, it was a kind of glorious end.
On Tuesday, I posted a graphic with the Voter’s Rights Hotline numbers. Simple enough. But a Facebook “friend” chose that moment to do publicly what she’d been doing privately for months – shame me for being an angry woman. She accused me of harming others by harboring anger, of not purging myself of rage, and—because I refused to walk into the bright light of privilege and “spirituality”—even suggesting I might have Borderline Personality Disorder.
I don’t believe anger is a thing to purge, to silence, or to hide.
I trust my anger. I want every woman to trust her anger. Right now, I don’t trust anyone who’s willing to look the other way just to preserve their comfort or their lifestyle. And frankly, I want nothing to do with people who can ignore suffering while talking about love and light.
Anger, when it’s rooted in justice, is clarity.
It’s an honest response to the state of the world, and it’s a tool that, when wielded well, has the power to reshape that world.
So what do we do with this fire we feel? Here’s how to turn anger into a force that builds rather than burns—without letting it consume us. This isn’t about “purging” rage but using it, harnessing it, and letting it power the change we need.
Trust Your Anger.
Society loves to tell us that anger in women is “unbecoming,” unbalanced, or downright dangerous. But anger is often our most honest, clear-sighted response to injustice. It’s the part of us that refuses to look away from suffering. So honor it. Feel it fully, without guilt or shame, and let it reveal what you care about most. Trust it as a compass, because anger, when we listen, often knows exactly where it’s pointing.
Take Up Your Space.
Anger doesn’t need permission. Plant yourself firmly in every conversation, every space—both virtual and physical—where change happens. Don’t apologize for your voice, your passion, or your presence. Stand your ground without apology, and don’t shy away from taking up space with your values and beliefs. Draw boundaries to keep out those voices that aim to silence or dilute your rage for their own comfort.
Use Your Voice as a Megaphone—If You Can.
Speaking up isn’t without risk, and that risk isn’t equal for everyone. Some of us, by virtue of privilege, can speak more freely, with less fear of consequence. If you have that safety net, use it to uplift those whose voices are at greater risk, knowing that it’s a responsibility, not a choice. But in this climate, even privilege doesn’t guarantee immunity, and it’s getting harder to tell who’s truly “safe” to speak up. Be mindful, stay connected with those around you, and let anger push you to lift up those who risk much to be heard. This shared rage can turn to resilience when we act with courage, and our collective voices can be a shield for those who need it most.
Build a Network of Accountability.
Reach out to those who feel this fire with you. Create a circle of accountability where you check in, encourage each other, and share the load. Anger alone can feel isolating, but collective anger, grounded in trust and respect, is powerful. Make a pact to keep each other engaged and moving forward. Together, you can keep that fire burning in a way that transforms, rather than consumes.
Commit to Small Daily Actions.
Rage is a fire that can be overwhelming if we don’t find ways to channel it. Break it down into daily acts of change, however small. Make a call, write an email, donate, or share information that moves the conversation forward. These small, focused actions give your anger a purpose and prevent it from becoming stagnant or turning inward.
Channel Your Energy into Physical Action.
Anger is not just an emotion; it lives in the body, so let it move through you. Run, hike, dance, lift weights—do something to feel that fire in a way that builds your strength. Use it as a reminder of what you’re capable of, especially when you harness that energy to propel you forward. This way, you’re not just carrying anger; you’re turning it into resilience.
Arm Yourself with Knowledge.
The world will try to dismiss anger as irrational, especially when it comes from women. But informed anger is a fortress. Study, learn, understand. Arm yourself with the facts, the histories, the injustices that fuel your anger. Anger that’s rooted in truth is unassailable and becomes a wellspring of clarity and purpose that no one can discredit.
Remember the Why.
Anger without purpose can hollow you out. Anchor yourself in why you’re angry. Is it for your family? Your community? For future generations who need this world to be better? Keep that reason close, as it’s not a decoration—it’s your fire. It’s what gives your anger depth and direction, grounding it in love and purpose.
Anger, when wielded thoughtfully, is a powerful, unrelenting force that can light the way to change. Let it move you forward, not consume you. Don’t let anyone tell you that anger is “too much” or “unbecoming.” The world doesn’t change without anger or the raw honesty that rage brings. So trust it. Shape it, sharpen it, and wield it like the powerful tool it is.
Lisa Hayes is a life coach, coach trainer, author, and editor of Confluence Daily. She specializes in social, social justice, political issues, and mental health. Her work has appeared in publications like Huffington Post and Real Simple. She is also the Communications Director for a local fire department in Mexico. You can find Lisa at www.lisamhayes.com or www.thecoachingguild.com.
