Words are like marching orders for your emotions
Reading Time: 3 minutes
By: Lisa M. Hayes – Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know.
A few months ago, I was a bundle of stress. I was anxious. I was burned out. I had too little time and too much to do but no matter how much I did, things still weren’t consistently rolling smoothly for me. It wasn’t always rocky, but it certainly wasn’t always smooth. I was prepping for a move that wasn’t happening on the timeline I thought I would. Everyone knew I was a woman with 999 problems because I was happy to talk about it.
Of course, I hoped once the move happened everything would magically be perfect in my world. However, a big part of me knew better. I’m a girl who’s spent more than enough time studying brain chemistry, law of attraction, and the habits of human thought. I know better than to think that any external shift is going to fix an internal state.
We talked about it, as a family. We knew we needed to do the “work” to get right before we got to our new location. We knew for sure was we didn’t want to take our stressed, maxed out, over-cooked, selves with us.
And we did do some “work”. We meditated more. We dialed in on gratitude and appreciation. I listened to inspirational podcasts like an addict looking for a fix — all of which probably helped.
But…
When our move was complete and I found myself in a completely different environment, I was still a woman with 999 problems, and too little time, anxious about too many things – and it didn’t make sense because, at that point, life was fan-fucking-tastic in almost every way. However, despite all the amazingness in my life, I could tell I was still spinning because I could hear myself talk about it.
I would hear myself saying things like:
“I’m anxious about ____________”
“I don’t have enough time for ___________”
“My problem with that is___________”
“I’m worried that_________”
and my all-time favorite, “I’m really tired”.
Then it happened. I found myself listening to a recorded phone call I was on a while back, and I heard myself say the words, that used to be my mantra. “We are not the kind of people who have problems. So, if it’s happening it’s either not a problem or it’s not our problem.” And when I heard those words rolling out of my own mouth, I could feel to my core that I believed when I said it.
So, on a dime, I became a woman who didn’t have any problems, or stress, or anxiety – and it that shift was profoundly real.
I quit using the words stress, worried, concerned, problems, anxiety, and tired.
In fact, I committed to quit them cold turkey, (I’m not batting 1000, but I’m probably close).
I stopped saying I was worried.
I stopped complaining about being tired.
I just started noticing myself noticing things going on around me as an observer and I quit using catastrophic descriptive language to talk about any of it.
I noticed pretty quickly my emotions follow instructions like a champ. When I quit telling myself I was stressed, I quit feeling it.
When I quit labeling myself as anxious, low and behold, I was pretty peaceful most of the time.
Neuroscientists and behavioral health experts agree. Modern psychology illustrates that how we narrate our lives will ultimately determine the quality of our experiences. We are literally always in the process of writing our own stories. The words we use are important, but most of the time we narrate our experiences without realizing we are in control of the storyline.
From a deliberate creation standpoint, how we describe what’s happening in our lives from a moment to moment perspective, to ourselves, creates our reality. Narration sets your dominant vibration and becomes the building blocks for your future experiences. Language directs focus and focus creates reality.
Bottom line, if you don’t want to be anxious, stressed, tired or worried, stop telling yourself you are.
All the “work” turned out to be not that much effort at all. It required some discipline, but generally speaking, watching my mouth has been pretty damn close to a magic pill.
If the words you speak were always prophetic, so powerful that they would always come true, would you chose them more carefully??
The answer is of course, yes.
Taking responsibility for that power was a game-changer for me.
More by: Lisa
Of course, I hoped once the move happened everything would magically be perfect in my world. However, a big part of me knew better. I’m a girl who’s spent more than enough time studying brain chemistry, law of attraction, and the habits of human thought. I know better than to think that any external shift is going to fix an internal state.
We talked about it, as a family. We knew we needed to do the “work” to get right before we got to our new location. We knew for sure was we didn’t want to take our stressed, maxed out, over-cooked, selves with us.
And we did do some “work”. We meditated more. We dialed in on gratitude and appreciation. I listened to inspirational podcasts like an addict looking for a fix — all of which probably helped.
But…
When our move was complete and I found myself in a completely different environment, I was still a woman with 999 problems, and too little time, anxious about too many things – and it didn’t make sense because, at that point, life was fan-fucking-tastic in almost every way. However, despite all the amazingness in my life, I could tell I was still spinning because I could hear myself talk about it.
I would hear myself saying things like:
“I’m anxious about ____________”
“I don’t have enough time for ___________”
“My problem with that is___________”
“I’m worried that_________”
and my all-time favorite, “I’m really tired”.
Then it happened. I found myself listening to a recorded phone call I was on a while back, and I heard myself say the words, that used to be my mantra. “We are not the kind of people who have problems. So, if it’s happening it’s either not a problem or it’s not our problem.” And when I heard those words rolling out of my own mouth, I could feel to my core that I believed when I said it.
So, on a dime, I became a woman who didn’t have any problems, or stress, or anxiety – and it that shift was profoundly real.
I quit using the words stress, worried, concerned, problems, anxiety, and tired.
In fact, I committed to quit them cold turkey, (I’m not batting 1000, but I’m probably close).
I stopped saying I was worried.
I stopped complaining about being tired.
I just started noticing myself noticing things going on around me as an observer and I quit using catastrophic descriptive language to talk about any of it.
I noticed pretty quickly my emotions follow instructions like a champ. When I quit telling myself I was stressed, I quit feeling it.
When I quit labeling myself as anxious, low and behold, I was pretty peaceful most of the time.
Neuroscientists and behavioral health experts agree. Modern psychology illustrates that how we narrate our lives will ultimately determine the quality of our experiences. We are literally always in the process of writing our own stories. The words we use are important, but most of the time we narrate our experiences without realizing we are in control of the storyline.
From a deliberate creation standpoint, how we describe what’s happening in our lives from a moment to moment perspective, to ourselves, creates our reality. Narration sets your dominant vibration and becomes the building blocks for your future experiences. Language directs focus and focus creates reality.
Bottom line, if you don’t want to be anxious, stressed, tired or worried, stop telling yourself you are.
All the “work” turned out to be not that much effort at all. It required some discipline, but generally speaking, watching my mouth has been pretty damn close to a magic pill.
If the words you speak were always prophetic, so powerful that they would always come true, would you chose them more carefully??
The answer is of course, yes.
Taking responsibility for that power was a game-changer for me.
More by: Lisa
