How to Find Treasure in the Dark
Cindie Chavez – ©2019
There are two great days in a person’s life – the day we are born and the day we discover why.” -William Barclay
In a couple of days, the moon will be new in the sign of Taurus, and as part of my ongoing efforts to teach people about living in alignment with the moon phases, I’ve been encouraging my clients and readers to find the things that delight them. You see, Taurus is ruled by Venus – the sphere of art, music, beauty, luxury, opulence, and romance. And, personally, I want my life to be full of delights. Delightful people, delightful things, delightful experiences, delightful opportunities. But, I also recognize that the things that bring us joy are not the only things that give us direction and purpose.
Nearly 15 years ago my marriage began to completely break down, and I was someone who wanted a happy marriage and family more than anything else. Having my marriage of more than two decades fall apart was extremely painful. I felt hopeless. I honestly felt like I would never recover, the pain was so deep. And when I think about the deep wounds I’ve experienced in my life (not just my divorce) the experiences that come up for me have to do with verbal, emotional, and sexual abuse, loss of self-esteem, inability to communicate effectively with someone I loved, and a lot of fear around being alone.
I realize now that those experiences all hold a very valuable gift for me, and I treasure them now because through them I discovered, or maybe even developed, my purpose. The painful experiences, combined with the things I am naturally passionate about (beauty, music, art, nature, magic, spirituality, ritual, etc.) allow me to demonstrate my purpose in everything I do.
My purpose is more than just what I do professionally, it is who I am at my core, and I experience it through all my senses. I could say that I see, feel, hear and know that the purpose of my life is to be authentic, beautiful, intuitive, powerful and wise, to enjoy beauty and the world around me, to work magic. When I am fulfilling my purpose, I am able to empower others to communicate masterfully, love deeply, create consciously, and enjoy life fully.
And I know that I can fulfill my purpose no matter what occupation I choose, or what activity I engage in, because it is who I am.
I’m doubtful that any of us can live a long full life without experiencing heartbreak and painful situations.
Heartbreak is not limited to romantic situations, either. Any serious loss can result in a broken heart; the loss of a loved one, the loss of a position, the loss of a pet, the loss of dignity. I’m sure you could add a few of your own ideas and experiences to the list.
Having our hearts broken can leave us feeling weak, ashamed, broken, powerless, and without hope.
So, if you’re in pain, or if your heart has been broken, I’d like to give you a ray of hope (maybe a whole room full of sunshine) where your broken heartedness is concerned. And it is in this one idea:
Your deepest wound is directly connected to your life purpose.
Having your heart broken feels terrible, and your feelings are a miracle.
In fact, the woundedness you feel in any given situation can be a big key to your purpose in that moment.
Your purpose is much more about “how” you are “being” than “what” you are “doing”.
When you are being the person you were born to be, the power of that is evident in everything you are doing.
Alice Mary Hilton said, “A person’s worth is contingent upon who he is, not upon what he does, or how much he has. The worth of a person, or a thing, or an idea, is in being, not in doing, not in having.”
A few years ago, I was speaking to a young man who was feeling some of the bumps and bruises of a new leadership position. Being a leader isn’t always comfortable. Conflicts arise and power struggles ensue, the result, he related to me was sometimes a “knot in his stomach”.
This young man is a powerful and humble leader, a master at communication, and someone who is hugely intuitive. His painful past experiences have been a very real part of his leadership development. I believe that this young man’s life purpose is to be humble, skillful, a masterful peacekeeper and leader and honestly it won’t matter as much what official position he holds, he will always display humility, powerful leadership, peacekeeping, and strong mentoring abilities because it is who he is at his core.
When we are able to fulfill our purpose, we experience a powerful synergy between who we are and the world around us and we naturally create a life affirming impact on others as well as ourselves.
All the feelings we think we’d rather not feel are an integral part of us fulfilling our purpose – and yes, they are hard to experience. Hurt, anger, frustration, depression, anxiety, sadness, confusion, hopelessness…pain. Painful.
And those are exactly the feelings that we sometimes push down, ignore, make light of, excuse, and even lie about (“I’m fine.”)
Sometimes we even feel guilty about experiencing those feelings, as if we are supposed to go through life never having an uncomfortable feeling. Like some kind of automaton that always has the “right” (sweet) response, the “right” (nice) reaction, the perfect answer for every question.
And that is NOT the way we are wired. Our feelings are a miracle. ALL of them.
Sometimes I think I sound a bit like a broken record, repeating this over and over, and that’s okay, maybe it can be a mantra of sorts. “My feelings are a miracle. My feelings are a miracle. My feelings are a miracle.” A MIRACLE!
Why? Because your feelings are guiding you to your own slice of heaven. Your own sense of divinity. Your own personal connection with The Universe, G-d, Your higher self, Your wiser self.
Your feelings are your road map to your highest life experience. Your great work. Your best relationships. Your soulmate. Your biggest and most excellent creative expressions. Your key to experiencing fulfillment.
Have you ever found yourself driving somewhere and feeling a little uncertain of how to get there, and yet didn’t want to take the time to verify the correct route, or ask for directions? Too much of a hassle. And what if the map is not correct, what if the person I ask doesn’t know the way and then I’ve wasted time. Excuses, excuses.
And yet… we make the same error when we don’t allow ourselves to feel, or we don’t trust our feelings, or we decide that our feelings are not valid. Maybe you don’t want to come off as a drama queen. Or behave childishly. After all, you want to act like a grown up. I get it. And I’m not going to give you a pass for an inappropriate display of emotion.
I am telling you that all of your feelings are valid. They are necessary. They are useful. They’re a miracle.
I want to challenge you today to recognize what you are feeling. Start small, just get a sense of how something (anything!) affects you in your body, and in your heart.
Getting in touch with your feelings, recognizing them, cherishing them, and learning how to express them appropriately is the most important way you can be true to yourself.
It takes courage, a bit of bravery, and the right tools and support help, too.
Your body is smart. Your feelings are a miracle. Your deepest wounds are directly connected to your life purpose. And living with purpose is delightful.
More by Cindie:
Cindie Chavez is known as “The Love & Magic Coach”. She is the creator of MOONTREAT™ – and she has some great free stuff for you at her website: www.cindiechavez.com
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