What A Bully’s Words REALLY Mean

April 17, 2018 Confluence

Reading Time: 3 minutes

By: Lisa Cavallaro – Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know.

Just when I thought I’d write a brief article this week, it turns out I have a lot to say about this video of a seven-year-old boy being bullied on the school bus. His mother posted the video on Facebook. It got over 40,000 views, which prompted a television reporter to interview her for the local news.

The little guy seems devastated and although Mom kept her cool during the interview, her Facebook post tells the story of an extremely irate parent. I feel like I understand this woman because I’ve been where she is. The little hairs on the back of my neck went straight up when someone messed with my kid.

Let’s face it… no one deserves to be disrespected by another person. But unfortunately, it does happen and when it does, we need to be smart. If we’re not, there’s a good chance we’ll forever be the perfect targets of more bully behavior.

If I could talk to that little boy on the bus, I would tell him this:

First of all, whoever is saying nasty things to you doesn’t feel very good about himself. He wants you to think he’s big and powerful and better than you. But the truth is he doesn’t feel good about himself at all. This kid is confused. The poor guy thinks the way he can feel better about himself is to get you to feel worse about yourself. Can you see how messed up his thinking is?

Somewhere this kid learned how to hurt people with words. He saw someone do it and maybe they even did it to him. Either way, he decided he would do it too. It really has nothing to do with you. This kid just learned a bad habit that maybe someday in the future he’ll change. Or maybe he won’t. That’s up to him.

About those kids watching him bullying you and who don’t tell him to stop… they’re just thankful you’re the one being bullied because if it wasn’t you, then it could be any one of them he’d pick on. You’re their buffer. They don’t agree with what he’s saying. They’re just going along with him because they’re afraid of becoming his next target.

So you can see how this kid is confused and thinks he needs people to fear him. His words mean nothing about you. He just uses them to make you afraid. What he says is the perfect reflection of what’s going on inside him. He just wants someone else to feel as bad as he does…. And this is where your choice is… You can feel the way he wants you to feel or you can feel the way YOU want to feel.

I tell you with 100% certainty that this kid’s words mean nothing about you. There’s no need for you to be sad. Hold your head high and your shoulders back. You don’t have to cover your face because there are no tears to hide. Feel good about the amazing person you are… and I do mean amazing!

Without speaking one word, your body language will let the bully know you will not be his victim. You’re a kid who’s confident in who you are and you have no need to try to hurt him back.

Your body language will let him know that if he wants to hurt someone, he should move on to someone who will allow that to happen… because you won’t. You’re a confident kid who understands what’s REALLY going on here.

Lisa Cavallaro, The Confidence Coach, is an LOA Coach with a solution-focused spin on bullying. She helps parents leverage Law of Attraction to raise kids who are self-confident and have a positive outlook toward peers, school and life. Lisa is the author of No More Drama and ADHD The Natural Way.