The Light Side of Dark Emotions
Cindie Chavez – ©2018 – Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know.
This weekend I attended the March for Our Lives event in my city. There were marchers as far as the eye could see and it was peaceful, and orderly – in fact, as we were leaving the capitol walking back to where the march started we took note that we didn’t see a single piece of trash anywhere. With all of the hundreds (or thousands) of signs everywhere, there was not a stray sign, orphaned flyer, or water bottle as far as we could see.
There were speakers, young and old, black and white, male, female and non-binary. And there were rousing moments of applause, passionate chanting, and some tears as those speakers delivered their heartfelt messages and we listened, sharing in their pain, and their hopefulness.
There was a sense of camaraderie and oneness. A sense of agreement. This crowd was so diverse that there is no way we could possibly agree on “everything” – but standing there at this march, we were united, and it was powerful.
This huge event and the movement it represents has been created by high school students, and I believe that one of the factors that is supporting them in their success is that they are not afraid to follow their instincts, and honor their feelings – feelings of anger, grief, sadness, loss. Feelings of outrage and frustration that not enough has been done to keep them safe.
I left the march feeling hopeful, encouraged, and in awe of these young people who were passionately creating this powerful movement.
As we passed a booth with a sign that said “Register to Vote here” I heard some teenagers asking how old they had to be to register. Their excitement and readiness to take action was inspiring.
I shared lots of smiles with complete strangers as we made our way back to our cars.
Then I got out my phone and opened Facebook to share a picture I had taken of the crowd at the capitol. Social media was buzzing with pictures from marches all over the country. I loved seeing these powerful images and knowing that we were standing in solidarity with people everywhere who had had enough and were ready for change. And then I read a post from a person saying that they didn’t go to protests or marches because they just “didn’t resonate with that kind of angry, negative energy”.
I wanted to ask “But do you resonate with the energy of safety? or the energy of change? or the energy of safer gun laws, or the energy of beautiful children who are happy and unafraid to go to school?”
I remember when the 2016 presidential campaign was at its peak right before Election Day and I saw a post where someone was saying that they were voting for Jill Stein. Someone commented that a vote for Stein was a vote for Trump, and pleaded with them to make a vote that would actually count, and vote for Hillary. The original poster said something like, “You’re operating in the energy of fear, and we shouldn’t do anything out of fear.”
That’s a sentiment we often see in “Love and Light” circles. This idea that we should never experience anger, or fear, or any uncomfortable emotion and that if we are then something is “wrong”. The result of this shaming and judging of any emotion that doesn’t feel good is that those uncomfortable emotions often get denied and repressed and pushed down and ignored, which by the way is incredibly unhealthy.
I’ve heard it said that depression is the result of unexpressed anger. We’ve made anger so “unenlightened” and wrong that it’s no wonder we’ve got an epidemic of depression and anxiety.
Anger isn’t wrong, it’s an inappropriate display of anger that’s wrong. Unlawful displays of anger are what are wrong.
Lawful and appropriate displays of anger, like peaceful protests, have the power to change things.
Uncomfortable feelings and emotions are important to pay attention to, and to take action on, right action. Appropriate action.
Fear saves lives. Just ask any woman who has escaped being raped.
Anger can be the catalyst that creates change for the better. Just ask a woman who finally got angry enough to leave an abusive partner.
Frustration can be downright motivating. Just ask a struggling student who finally found a tutor that helped them.
Allowing grief to be processed through the emotions of sadness and anger is necessary for healing.
It’s not the negative emotions we need to be concerned about, but our inability to listen to them and to process them in a healthy way.
This weekend’s marches, like the Women’s marches in 2017 and 2018, were some of the largest protests in our nation’s history, and they were peaceful and orderly.
At this weekend’s march, I witnessed anger, outrage, fear, sadness and grief – all being processed in a healthy way, a civic-minded way, an appropriate way.
And I came away with hope for a brighter future.
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Cindie Chavez is known as “The Love & Magic Coach”. She is the creator of MOONLIGHT™ – A Course in Manifesting Love and she has some great free stuff for you at her website: www.cindiechavez.com
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