A Woman You Should Know: How a Victim Became a Warrior – Interview with Courtney Weaver

The first time I met Courtney Weaver was at an event I was hosting. The event was for a campaign I was running, and that campaign was a sinking ship that was on fire. So, I avoided any real eye contact or conversation with anyone. I was marking the time until I could slink out the door to my car to make a break for it. However, Courtney wanted to talk to me. The one thing I’ve learned about Courtney Weaver is when she speaks, you listen.

Courtney is bright. She’s usually articulate. She’s boldly stylish. As a performing artist, Courtney Weaver carries her stage presence with her. She attracts attention wherever she goes, even when she doesn’t want to.

There is something about Courtney Weaver that leaves you feeling both engaged and a little uncomfortable at times. She has a directness and intensity that can only come from surviving. Courtney has survived more times than anyone should have to. Courtney Weaver doesn’t dance around the truth, and that kind of directness is uncommon. She is on a mission, and she doesn’t have a lot of time for small talk.

I got the opportunity to ask Courtney some questions. Her answers are well worth sharing.

Lisa: Courtney, a few years ago, you were a budding musician living in Northern California when your life was instantly turned upside down. Can you share a little about what happened that changed your life forever?

Courtney: In 2009 I was 22 years old living in Humboldt County, CA achieving my dreams as the resident blues chanteuse. That summer I met the man who would change my life forever but in the worst possible way. I was blindsided by his charming intelligence and way with words. He was intrigued by my vocal stylings. In 2009 I had 97 gigs as well as five blues festivals. I was even crowned best band by the Northcoast Journal and was planning on making my debut in New Orleans Jazzfest inMatch of 2010.

On January 15th, 2010 he shot me in the face and arm three days after proposing to me. If my then-kitten Raja hadn’t attacked him, he would have shot me in the back of the head while applying eyeshadow in my bathroom. Luckily she and I both survived to tell my story.

After fourteen reconstructive surgeries and spending the better part of my twenties as my health as my priority I plunged into to the world of activism to raise my voice in the face of violence and oppression. “Violence and Oppression” are synonymous to me and the systemic symptoms are evident in the culture we live in today.

Lisa: Initially, after your shooting, what was the thing that was the most difficult other than recovering from your physical injuries?

Courtney: The Social stigma— I still grapple with it every day. I’m someone to be made an example of, a cautionary warning, a scarlet letter. I wasn’t given the spectrum or capacity of expressions that “normal” members of society are granted. I’m told I’m strong, but at the same time this feels like an assault all its own— “it’s okay Courtney, you’re strong, you can handle it, I could never risk that, I have people that love and care about me, but I admire you for your strength.”

To these well-intentioned people: “Yes I am strong, but that doesn’t mean that I am not a member of your community, and I still need your help, I still need your inclusion, your love, your support.”

Lisa: What inspired you to transition from victim to advocate and did that help or hinder your healing process emotionally?

Courtney: It’s a double-edged sword ⚔️
On the one hand, being an advocate and activist literally healed the vocal malignancies caused by my shooting as a singer. On the other hand, speaking my truth has been an isolating reality or as I’m starting to call it warrior-traumatic-isolation-syndrome— where I feel further isolated by the very political groups I’ve helped pass initiatives for.

Perhaps that’s the way it’s always been though. Speakers of truth are lauded but rarely supported after the headlines fade. It’s been interesting coming home to California. The culture is rich, and the music scene is ripe, but it’s still a place where injustice prevails despite its distance from the status quo.

Lisa: Can you tell us a little about some of the work you have done regarding gun control and domestic violence?

Courtney: I made my debut when I was living in the Seattle-based DV shelter the Catherine Boothe House in 2011. The first bill I ever testified on was house bill 1840 — a bill that removes firearms from convicted DV abusers. You would think this would be non-controversial…

I learned the hard way. My press coverage of testimony in this bill in 2013 and success in passing it in 2014 solidified my status as a political mover-and-shaker despite my disdain for owing favors and fucking people over it fast-forwarded my political career to my survivor outreach and research position on the 2014 WA state Background Checks Campaign.

I tracked shorting in WA, AK, NH, and Iowa for Everytown for gun safety and finally got the chance to connect with other survivors of gun violence. My heart was in domestic violence work though. I knew that violence starts at home. So after we won on 11.4.2014, I interned with Jake Fawcett at WSCADV on his fatality review.

The research and data were comforting to the disconcerting cycle of violence in my life. In my music, I wrote was about this, and my research fed the music in a way I had only conceptualized before.

In 2015 I began collaborating with Josh Rawlings, Macklemore’s co-conspirator, writing music about my experience with intimacy, violence, and the overarching themes which led me to vocalize this taboo. To me, gun violence is gun violence is gun violence. This is what led me to your campaign. I realized immediately that unjustified use of force by police officers isn’t any different. It’s gun violence.

Lisa: You and I have both been victims of gun-related domestic violence. For me, the hardest part of my recovery was the shame and hiding. What was it for you?

Courtney: Shame and hiding, right now it’s the shame of smoking again and the fear of speaking out because I don’t want to be locked in a room and forced to fuck 20 tricks a day, which to me is worth than any death. Makes my Ex getting out of prison look like a consensual picnic.

Lisa: Do you have any regrets about being such a public and vocal advocate?

Courtney: My only regret is my disappointment in my community for not supporting or offering stability and safety at dangerous times when I’ve spoken out.

Lisa: Were you ever worried for your safety because of your public stance on these issues? If so, how have you lived with that?

Courtney: Yes, absolutely.
How have I lived with it? Well, I started smoking cigarettes again after quitting for seven years. I guess it’s given me forced time to breathe in a world that has wasted my breath and used me to raise fundraising dollars. I focus on my voice and my music. I know my music can convey and connect so much more than my words. To be continued ????

Lisa: What advice would you give women who are inspired to turn their personal pain into activism?

Courtney: Speak from your heart, use your mind to connect the dots, but most of all be wary of those who want to traffic your soul for fundraising dollars and political gain. Also, don’t believe in favors of the “i owe you” quota that is rampant in politics, that shit is for the birds and will soil you soul and convolute your purpose.

Lisa: What are some ways that women can get involved in their communities?

Courtney: Volunteering! That’s such a blanket reference, I hate to use it but I got started teaching free yoga classes to my fellow survivors in the DV shelter, which led to my invite to testify in Olympia. It’s all about who you know, find good people, reach out to your local news media organizations, you will find they will be much more willing to elevate your voice than your local politicians, but also be careful about your narrative you convey. Have three pivot points of the idea you are trying to convey and circle back to those three sentences. But also remember above everything else is that we are in this because  we fucking care! And our communities will hear that, they need us, whether they accept it or not ????